I hope you’re all doing well. With some recent changes in my personal life, I’ll soon have more free time to start editing the final four chapters of Until You Fall Asleep. I hope you enjoyed chapters four and five, which were added to the website two weeks ago.
Chapter seven will begin the third part of the story, called Awakening. It will feature an alternate world, an audience with an empress, the introduction of Ryan, worrisome partying, and the final straw.
Both chapter five and the shorter chapter six of Until You Fall Asleep are now online. While both chapters still need some tuning, I wanted to share them anyway. This will give me a little push to finish them.
Chapter five has our boy contemplating work and life, unsure whether train rides actually make him feel relaxed or uneasy, as he makes his way to his love interest. Things seem to be slowly settling down as he comes to the conclusion that he might actually be in love, with a new wave of insecurities and doubts washing over him as he tries to enjoy the moment. The course of true love never did run smooth.
Chapter six finds our boy in a dreamlike state, where he loses a small part of himself in order to move forward. To be with the person he loves, he pushes himself toward an open relationship where both of them can discover more together. Finally giving in and putting his worries aside, he asks his lover not to take advantage of his trust.
I hope you enjoy both of these chapters. Feel free to give me any feedback, as I will be slowly editing them over the coming days.
It’s been two weeks since the release of the fourth chapter of Until you fall asleep. I hope you liked it, even though it moves away a bit from the themes of the first three chapters. Chapter five is called “Lovers” and will return to what’s happening between the two boys. It’s the part where infatuation starts messing with your thoughts, as so much is still unclear. I still need to rummage through it to find some spelling and grammar mistakes before I put it online. But I would love to put the whole story out there this year. It’s time.
We finally continue Until you fall asleep with the next chapter. It’s been seven months since the third chapter, after which I felt a bit hesitant with going on. Insecurity and doubt threw a shadow over the story and I was not quite sure if I should even put the rest of it online. I started writing it back in 2024, so surely I could write something better now? Parts of it now make me cringe and not everything makes as much sense as it did back then. And so, When I was your man came up instead. A much shorter story that came to life with notes on my phone. Just like the story started that we will now jump back into.
Until you fall asleep is divided into three overarching themes. Pieces, the fourth chapter of the book starts with the second theme called Dreamstate. Where love starts messing with your brain in ways that it becomes hard to separate reality from fantasy. Because of this, the story drifts off into different themes for a bit.
It feels strange to return to Until you fall asleep again. But I must finish what I started. I hope you enjoy this fourth chapter.
I hope you have all been doing well. I have sadly been quite stressed lately. But I have also had some good days, which I am learning to cherish more and more. Sometimes you end up at a crossroads in life, and you need to make a decision again. If something is giving you a lot of stress, it might be time to let it go and follow the road to a new adventure. But I am not one to immediately give up, so I am going to see if I can make it less stressful for me.
When I was on my way to Switzerland, I wrote a short story. It’s called Lights and I have added it to the projects page of the website. I hope you like it.
It’s been a while since I last made a post on this blog. I have been quite busy with life. I enjoyed a trip to Poland to go skiing with friends. On the way there, I wrote a little story on the plane that I might share soon.
I also went on a different trip to Switzerland to go skiing again, which was quite intense but a lot of fun. When I came back, it was time for my driving exam, which I sadly did not pass, but I will try again soon.
Which brings us back to now — almost a month since the last time you heard from me. I have been thinking about Until You Fall Asleep and that it’s time to get this story moving again. I will hopefully find the motivation to return to it soon.
When I Was Your Man has been online for eleven days now. I have received some wonderful reactions to it, which truly warms my heart. Many thanks to everyone who took the time to read the story. I know it’s not the most positive story, but it’s one that needed to get out. The only way we learn and grow is to face our fears, and that’s what writing this short story felt like.
For those who have not yet read it, When I Was Your Man can be found in the Other Stories section of the website. A downloadable version, and possibly a Dutch version, is coming up.
To kick things off in the new year, I have finally added the short story When I was your man to the website. What started as small notes on my phone turned into this short story.
In eight short chapters, we follow the protagonist as the relationship slowly starts to crack. The text moves through uneasy thoughts and emotions, with insecurity always taking center stage and blame shifting back and forth. In the end, it shows how things can change without warning, and how some relationships just don’t last—no matter the promises made or rules agreed on. Love, after all, can’t really be controlled.
As they say, it’s the calm before the storm. But is all of it just a storm caught in a glass jar?
I’m stuck in a revolving door, endlessly going in circles without being able to leave this suffocating building. I see myself reflected in the glass of the door, panicking with each full circle. Have I really changed, or have I secretly stayed the same after all these years? Does the endless eventually come to an end? Is there still enough time to reflect on all my sins? Is there enough time to sin some more?
It has been a little over two weeks since I last updated my blog. As expected, work has been very busy. As have been my preparations for Christmas that I am quite looking forward to. As I reflect on this year, I must say that it has been challenging. Though change can be exciting and good, it can also be quite emotional and energy-consuming. As everything slowly settles, I will hopefully be able to focus on writing a bit more again next year.
Which means finally finishing Until You Fall Asleep and writing more stories. I would also love to get back on stage and join some storytelling events. I wanted to rush out When I was your man before this year finishes. But I think it could be a great start for 2026 instead. It needs just a little bit more fine-tuning before I put it out, and I think it would greatly benefit from it.
I hope you all had a wonderful year filled with creativity and love. And remember that I love you too.
Martijn Winkel 